How to Uncover the Root of Your Conflict ( & Stop It for Good)

Arguments happen in every relationship. No two people are exactly alike. Thus, conflicts are bound to arise.

How you handle those conflicts in your relationship is important. Even more crucial is knowing the underlying cause.

If you don’t uncover the root of your conflict, chances are the same conflict will keep coming up. It may even come up in other arguments that have nothing to do with the root cause. That can create a lot of contention and miscommunication in your relationship.

f you’re avoiding getting to the root of your conflict, it’s something you don’t want to talk about or face. Uncovering the core of the problem is the best way to work through it, no matter how difficult it seems at the time.

So, how can you get to the root of your conflict and put a stop to it?

Identify Your Needs 

Often, the root of conflict comes from one or both partner’s not sharing their needs.

We all have basic human needs, and everyone’s level of priority of those needs is different. You might need security and belonging. Your partner may need reassurance. When those needs aren’t satisfied in a relationship, they can work their way into every argument.

For example, You might need to feel a sense of security with your partner. Thus, when you don’t feel secure, you’ll are not able to put your trust into the relationship. You might not open up to them or be vulnerable. Or you can appear closed off and cold which can lead to a variety of relationship problems.

Again, we all have needs. Communicate your needs so they do not sabotage your disagreements making them worse.

Learn What You Keep Coming Back To

Do you have a particular subject or topic you bring up in every argument?

Complaining your partner never washes the dishes, may have deeper meaning. It’s worth delving deeper. It may be a sign that something far more serious is lurking underneath.

You get so upset about your partner you not washing the dishes because you’re overwhelmed at work. Or you have had a stressful day of watching the kids .We often look for subtle ways to tell people how we’re feeling. Unfortunately, no one is a mind reader. Your partner can’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell him/her. Increase your inner awareness and share without blame.Stopping Conflict With Communication

You’ve heard how important communication is in a relationship, and it is. Communicating regularly and openly decreases conflict. As luck would have it, that’s also the best way to deal with the root of that conflict for good.

What does that look like? Focusing as you listening, asking questions and acting on what you hear are core practices for solid communication and conflict resolution.

You’ll have to be vulnerable with your partner and express your needs, wants, and insecurities. On the other side of things, you’ll also need to be willing to offer the same listening ear to your partner.

Stopping Conflict With Communication

You’ve heard how important communication is in a relationship, and it is. Communicating regularly and openly decreases conflict. As luck would have it, that’s also the best way to deal with the root of that conflict for good.

What does that look like? Focusing as you listening, asking questions and acting on what you hear are core practices for solid communication and conflict resolution.

You’ll have to be vulnerable with your partner and express your needs, wants, and insecurities. On the other side of things, you’ll also need to be willing to offer the same listening ear to your partner.

Consider Support from a Counselor

If you’re struggling in your relationship or you find yourselves arguing all the time, please feel free to contact me. It’s not always easy to uncover the root of your conflict on your own. Even when you do, expressing that to your partner and working through it together can be difficult when emotions are running high.

Please contact me soon and read more about couples retreats. I am ready and able to help you work through the root of your conflict. Together, we can destroy its power so your relationship can thrive and grow stronger than ever.